Concurrently, the elderly individuals do plan for the 2 so you’re able to sleep-in that home getting every night. Once they note that nothing took place on account of concern because of the boy, the fresh elderly guys, through his buddy, perform organize briefing training to tell new boy just who the lady is really so he will be not any longer be afraid away from girls and you will female. You will find a familiar faith that ladies “bite” one of the youngsters, no that dares to state opposite feedback. For that reason belief, boys and girls don’t rush on the relationships and, as a result, they often wed in the ages of 30 or 35.
The fresh new boy narrates in order to their bro all the letters of girl he has treasured and wish to out of no less than around three, comprising the young guy, their sibling, plus one cousin but not their moms and dads, visits the latest girl’s family to make certain that these corners know each most other really
Next, parents and you may uncles ( eni mbumba ) (the owner of the children) will always be desperate to possess its boy or girl find good compatible wedding lover. Even though some ones https://kissbrides.com/serbian-women/varna/ techniques are shrinking, it however means an element of the youth’s road to delivering ong new Chewa.
Among the Chewa , when men indicates matrimony so you can a beneficial girl, this isn’t obvious that they’re going to get married instantly. There is a procedure that concerns uncles, aunties, mothers, chiefs, or any other influential people in the city. ” Even with are seeking the person, your lover does not state “yes” at basic proposition on the guy. The man should validate his condition a few times up until the girl nods with the proposal. Thus far, males stop trying thinking the brand new girl is not trying to find all of them.
With respect to the Chewa community, it’s completely wrong to the girl to accept a marriage offer at first connection with a man. The fresh girl must reduce invited with the intention that the woman is seen because “solid,” not eager, perhaps not easy, and you can people men can also be struggle to possess.
Recognizing the latest suggestion within 1st experience of the person are a good manifestation of tiredness regarding girl. It indicators the woman is “inexpensive.” Likewise, in the event the guy matches back into victory the newest girl after good delay inside the accepting an offer, they indicators a robust relationship. Additionally, it signifies that the person are resilient and strong enough. Then, it guarantees one no matter if they deal with pressures in-marriage, one another could well be sufficiently strong to handle things.
Initially, in the event the guy match the fresh girl, the man states, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” definition “Lady, Everyone loves you, and would love to wed you
This action is known as “kufunsira mbeta,” definition matrimony proposition . In the event that girl in the long run accepts, the person gives the girl chikole ( one thing physical that your lady otherwise a man can show anybody else that she’s involved). Popular items utilized due to the fact chikole become mikanda (jewelry) , content feminine usually use to tie over the brains, or any other matter some thing. Providing the woman chikole shows that the person is dedicated to marrying brand new girl and suppresses new girl out-of are reached from the most other dudes to possess relationship proposals. Whenever another man approache your lover, she reveals brand new chikole to block him from carried on his advances.
Just like the girl allows the offer, she suggests the guy to share with their own buddy about this. As mentioned prior to, among Chewa, brand new cousin is regarded as mwini mbumba (manager of college students from the clan). If the people arranges to visit this new cousin of your girl, he doesn’t go by yourself. In the beginning, he’s got to tell his sibling regarding girl they have advised marriage in order to. After they visited the girl’s uncle, their bro will also never be alone – he could be usually entered by the almost every other family of the girl but not their unique moms and dads. When the new boy’s people arrives, they engage in talks named malonje (introductions and you can appealing reviews).
